***

I'm trapped in my soul
that sees no light and hope
I'm trapped in my toxic family
which gives me everything and nothing
and I'm trapped in my body
and my cold feet
and my skin which shows me the signs
that I am not able to understand
and I'm trapped in this flat
that gets muddy too fast
with my so-called heatlhy meals
and my virtual devices
that keep me reachable
and I'm trapped in these buses
that help me to reach
so-called necessary destinations
I'm trapped in this world
with all its possibilities
with all its beautiful-healthy-young people
who found their way
or so it seems from the instagram page
and here I am
swinging and laughing
with no knowledge
and no skills
and no proper motivation
for proper no mediocre goals
and hey, I don't know
if I'm ignoring my illness to live all the time
cuz I've learnt to be sad just sometimes
but those times hit me hard
and I don't know what's the true
what I seek
what I need
how I truly feel
cuz I'm trapped everywhere
after I've trapped myself in there

bgfdgbfdjssug
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